Maryam & J

Please enjoy this little guest post from Maryam of Pamplemousse1983.

Hello Danfredo readers! My name is Maryam and I am blogsitting for Danielle while she is off living the blissful newlywed life. I usually blog over on Pamplemousse1983 but today I am here to talk to you about babies.

Aren't we adorable?  Margaux was not interested in smiling for the camera...

Here's the thing about babies. They're a lot of work. I mean, you think you know, but you don't know. Babies also kind of change everything about the relationship you have with your husband. You will still love each other but there's something that's changed though it's not quite tangible. That sounds kind of like this is a bad thing but it's not, just different.

My husband and I have been together for 10 years. Since we were 18. We had our daughter in June of this year. I am going to be frank with you, it's been difficult getting used to this life. Sometimes I mourn the loss of our childless life. Not to say I don't love Margaux and am so happy she's here. But babies make everything harder.

I never really wanted a baby until a year and a half ago. I knew I would be a mother one day but it's not something I gave much thought to. And then I caught the fever. You know, the impossible THAT BABY IS SO CUTE I WANT ONE FOR MYSELF fever. It was seriously all I could think about. We had been married a couple of years and were getting older and neither of us wanted to be old parents so we started discussing it.

We thought about the financials more than the actual baby, I think. Isn't that funny? I feel like that should have been the last thing we thought about.

Anyway, we ended up trying once. This should be a warning for teenagers. You guys, we only tried once and I got pregnant. And as soon as I took that little pee test the first thing that popped in my head was "crap." Suddenly it was real. And at that point there's no turning back. There's a tiny human growing in my uterus. There was no more being selfish and reckless and doing whatever I wanted.  There would be no more quick trips to the store or easy weekend getaways. This was real.

I think we were still a bit delusional up until our first night in the hospital. Margaux would not stop crying. Okay, she would stop but she cried A LOT. And we got almost zero sleep. And that is the worst part of the story. Because I cherish my sleep. I LOVE to sleep. I used to love sleeping til 10 on a Saturday and then staying in bed with my husband just lying there and cuddling and laughing and just hanging out. That never happens anymore. If I do hang out in bed it's because it's the only way Margaux will take a nap longer than 45 minutes. In fact I'm typing this in bed with her sleeping next to me. And I actually kind of love it. But I do miss hanging out in bed with my husband.

At this point I've lost my train of thought because I got 4 hours of sleep last night. Yeah, you read that right. Babies are serious business.

I think I meant for this post to be about how my relationship with my husband has changed but it's kind of morphed into something else. Anyway, every once in a while my husband and I will look at each and we'll tell the other we miss them. We've had two date nights since she was born. Two. In four months.  We rarely spend time cuddling. We almost never go out together with the baby because it's just easier for one or the other to run out. Our life as a couple has completely changed.


FashionMoto said... December 24, 2011 at 1:40 AM

Wow! This is my first time reading about blog sitting and I find it such a great idea!

Talking about babies - I'm already 25 y/o and is my 4th year in a relationship with my boyfriend who is 28 y/o.
Most of our friends are now married with kids but personally I don't envy them because I know the feeling of having kids around since I was the baby sitter of my cousins when I was younger but I love babies - they're such adorable creatures on earth! I feel it's not yet the right time for me to produce one! I'm happy being the "baby" of my boyfriend in the meantime! hahaha! ^_^

great blog, hopefully we can follow each other! ^_^

Caitlin said... December 24, 2011 at 1:58 PM

Love this. These are all the fears I have about having kids...loss of sleep, feeling disconnected from my marriage, etc. I'm sure it's worth it, but you're right that it's an adjustment regardless. Merry Christmas to you guys!

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