Ignorance Is Blissey

Yeah, this month's Blog O' The Month (Ignorance Is Blissey) just so happens to belong to my baby brother, Bobby, but it's good and you need to read it. Here's a little bit of wisdom from the man, himself!

I was honestly surprised when my sister asked me to be her Blog O' The Month and write a guest entry for her blog, especially on a topic that affects me on a day-to-day basis. As a freshman student who just entered the college scene at the start of the fall, I knew that there would be many challenges coming my way once the semester started. Peer pressure, challenging homework and time management were all aspects of college life that I have been prepared for since my days in high school. However, there was one aspect that I could not have possibly prepared for: A long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, Katie. Granted we’re only four months into our relationship, I have never felt such a strong connection with someone in my (brief) life. This connection that we have is one of the many reasons why it’s so difficult to be away from home.

Our relationship started in early July and I was genuinely worried about what the outcome of this summer relationship would be. Would we break up once college started for both of us and just get back together during the holidays? Or would we tough it out and maintain a healthy long-distance relationship? Needless to say, I’m still together with Katie despite the five-hour travelling distance between the two of us. I have to say, though...This relationship would honestly be very difficult were it not for the benefits of modern technology. Through a combination of texting, cell phone calls, instant messaging, Facebook, Skype, carrier pigeons and even snail mail, Katie and I have managed to stay in touch with each other for the duration of this current semester.

Staying in touch brings me to my first keystone for maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship: Communication. This can be said for ANY relationship, but this should be especially emphasized in a relationship between people that are so far away. Communication helps keep a relationship strong. Sometimes, I find it hard to find time to text or video-chat with Katie due to conflicting schedules or a lack of privacy. Living in a residence hall, privacy and noise are definitely issues that arise quite often and inhibit me from enjoying the alone time with Katie. Nonetheless, we still do our best to talk whenever possible. Even a simple text asking the other how their day is going is enough to keep us strong.

Fortunately for me, this semester has been filled with a LOT of breaks, be them for personal reasons or otherwise. The availability of a family weekend within the first few weeks of school was definitely a plus. It allowed me to see both my family and my girlfriend for a weekend, make a trip to Vermont and celebrate my girlfriend’s birthday all at the same time! This was soon followed by Columbus Weekend and my sister’s wedding a month later! All of these events allow me to be with my family and girlfriend at the same time! I would also like to mention, that I am truly grateful that my family enjoys her company as much as I do. This is, quite frankly, a first because my previous girlfriends were either unable to actually hang out due to their parents or they were afraid of being very outspoken around mine. Having a significant other that your parents approve of is definitely a plus in a relationship.

Another plus and keystone of any relationship is to have trust. This can be difficult, because neither party knows what the other is doing at all times. This is especially essential when there is a distance of a few hundred miles between you and your significant other. I trust Katie. I know that if she were to hang out with friends, watch a movie, go to work and so on…She would be doing just that. I, myself, give her that same respect and trust in return. I’m not one to go party and drink with kids at my school. It’s just not something that I’m into. I’d much rather hang out with a group of three other friends and play Mario Party until all hours of the evening! But that’s just me. I trust Katie; she trusts me. I wouldn’t have it any other way, and I doubt that anyone would disagree.

Another hardship of a long-distance relationship is comforting the other when times are tough. Being far away from home and the comfort of an actual mattress and showers in which you don’t have to wear flip-flops, it can be difficult to not miss what you used to have. I’ve had quite a few bouts of homesickness in the past 2 months, and a few phone calls or video chats with family, friends and Katie have all helped me significantly. I’m sure that many of you readers have read my sister’s post regarding her stance on the recent changes in communication in our world titled Ayo Technology. If you haven’t, I highly recommend you do.

When texting, it is really hard to determine the originator’s tone of voice. All of the emphasis and enunciation on words can be completely lost when written or typed. The same can apply when comforting a person. It’s difficult to truly express care and understanding to someone else without using your voice or physically being there for someone. With this distance…I have to take what I can get. It may be difficult, but I must cope with not having someone there to hug me when I’m crying or cheer for me when I’m successful. I must also do my best to encourage and support Katie when she needs me. Sometimes the distance from me gets to her and I just keep reminding her, “Just two more weeks, sweetie! You can do this! We’ve already gotten through the first half of this month! Now for the rest of it!” This form of encouragement usually cheers her up immediately, which is something I’m grateful for.

While still on the topic of communication, I want to mention that this wonderful girl went through all sorts of trouble just to send me a care package in the mail. She had told me a majority of the things she was sending me…But one item in particular was never mentioned. As a side note, she and I share VERY similar interests. It’s almost scary how much we actually have in common. We both enjoy Pokemon, share a passion for cooking, listen to similar music and watch “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.” (I feel so reluctant to even mention that I watch the show sometimes. Then again, I own two shirts related to the show…Oh well!) The item that she sent me was a shirt based on a character from the My Little Pony show! It was completely unexpected! Almost as unexpected as the item I would receive no more than days later: My very own knit moose hat. This is, by far, the warmest hat I have ever had the pleasure of wearing. At this very moment, while typing this, I am wearing it. It has actually brought me a lot of attention when passing by people on campus. As to if it’s positive or negative attention, I will never know. I’ll take them as complements, though.

At this point, I feel as though I’m rambling quite a bit. This post is just droning on and on, so I think I’ll just wrap things up for now. Long distance relationships don’t necessarily have to be difficult. They come with just as many hardships as any other relationship would, but with the inclusion of a HUGE amount of distance. I love Katie with all that my heart has to offer. She does so much for me and I hope that everything I do can even come close to compensating for what she does. I understand that I’m young and am potentially acting in an irrational way for even thinking that a high school relationship can and will work out in college…But I still have faith that Katie and I can make this work. She has been really dedicated to applying to the same college that I attend, and I am 100-percent confident that she will be accepted! The elimination of this distance may just be the key to further strengthening our relationship.

I apologize for the length and rambling, readers! I wrote this on a six-hour bus ride home for my lovely sister’s wedding and definitely had a lot on my mind. Hopefully that wasn’t too dreadful for you! I thank you very much for reading and hope that I covered a few aspects of long-distance relationships well enough.

Isn't he just so smart! I take all the credit for his intelligence because I did help raise him, you know. Well, there's your Blog O' The Month, folks! Be sure to check out B0bbino (yes, the "0" is intentional) on Ignorance Is Blissey and Twitter. Have a fantastic day, buddies!


Bobby said... December 1, 2011 at 9:40 AM

Thanks for allowing me to post, Danielle! I really appreciate it! Hopefully I managed to get a few points across within that huge block of text.

Melissa @funfitchic.net said... December 1, 2011 at 11:27 AM

Great post from the little bro. Holds true in relationships where you live, eat, and sleep under the same roof! Oh and how I DON'T miss having to wear flip flops to shower!

Anonymous said... December 1, 2011 at 11:27 AM

He's so stinkin' cute.


Yvonne said... December 2, 2011 at 8:47 PM

Great job Bobby. I'm so happy for you both.
Love ya, Mom

Louise Cazley said... December 3, 2011 at 4:55 PM

It's so awesome to see a young man who is not influenced by the pressures of this day and age where men are encouraged to live it up before settling down. I love how he owns his confidence and I hope he never changes. I don't understand why young love is not taken seriously by many today, and there is nothing irrational about believing that his relationship will last. I'm a romantic, so I would have preferred to have met my Mr. Right earlier on in my life; although I am thrilled not be with who I was with at 21, lol. Katie is a lucky, lucky lady!!

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